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Solo Sex - More Than Just Masturbation (2020)

Written by Charlie Vix


Posted on July 05 2020

Flicking the bean. Beating the meat. Enjoying one’s “alone time.”

Call it what you will, solo sex is simply the best! Especially during those cold nights when you’re all alone in bed or in the shower thinking about your significant other who is far away, solo sex can easily turn a time of boredom and solitude into a moment of pure and utter bliss.

Solo Sex Woman

However, solo sex isn’t just what most people think it to be. A lot of people may hear the term and immediately think of masturbation, and although, yes, that is an obvious aspect of it, solo sex is so much more than that. Simplifying it as an act of self-indulgence for one of humanity’s basic bodily needs is quite tragically an over-simplification.

Let us explain.

Solo sex is an experience. It is a personal journey that only you and you alone can fully comprehend and traverse. It relates to your internal sexual desires, cravings, kinks, and fetishes. This includes, of course, the several things that turn you on or turn you off and how you perceive and experience these things in your own spiritual, psychological, and (of course) physical way. It is the time you spend having sexual feelings, the environment in which these emotions occur the most, and the person you share these fantasies for that shape your solo sex experience.

Whether it is driven by a certain aspect of romance, fantasy, sensuality, eroticism, or just pure sexual hunger, solo sex is the key to finding out who you truly are, like a rose-scented crystalline pool reflecting the deepest parts of you. And wouldn’t you like to know more about that side of you? Of course, you do!

Solo Sex Chart

Unfortunately, a lot of people correlate the idea of solo sex with feelings of shame, guilt, and confusion. This is perfectly normal! It is indeed a challenge to accept one’s sexuality, specifically the fantastic parts of you that society shuns away. But here’s a little secret: everyone is into it! And those who say they don’t definitely wish they were!

It may not be for the faint of heart, but if you’re a curious spirit searching for answers to your burning questions on solo sex, human desires, and everything in between, this article is just for you!

And trust us, it’s a worthy endeavour.

Solo Sex for Women

Men talk about masturbating casually. But women tend to do it literally, even more. Us women feel urges too. When we’re alone we have fantasies in our heads that make us want to touch ourselves—just as much as men do. Our fantasies lead us into uncharted waters, the kind that’s wild, the kind that comes in waves.

Solo sex, once in a while, is a form of self-care. It’s just like having beauty or skincare routines or shopping for whatever we want to buy online. It makes us feel good and satisfied.

Also, did you know that masturbation has its health benefits? It’s a form of exercise. Unlike how men do it, solo sex isn’t just sticking a hand down there and hacking away. There so many techniques, sexual positions, and moves you might discover during your solo sex sessions.

Another health benefit is it releases happy hormones all throughout your body called endorphins. If you’ve been stressed the entire day, why not unwind by pleasuring yourself? Whip out your favorite sex toy and have some fun!

The next health benefits of solo sex are it boosts your blood flow, avoid menstrual problems, muscle problems, moisture problems, and prevents your vaginal canal from narrowing.

Enhancing physical pleasure undoubtedly enhances sexual enjoyment. A great thing about solo sex is you discover more about yourself and increase your sexual experience with your partner.  With solo sex, you will know which areas you like touching the most, how fast or how slow you want things to be, what you like, what you love, and how you like to receive things.

When you’re away of what is pleasurable to you, you become more intimate with your lover. Ladies, believe it or not, men love it when you take charge. It’s rewarding for them to make their woman feel satisfied. Telling them what makes you go crazy makes them feel sexy and powerful. If you’re having a hard time reaching your climax, guide your man, girl!

Another fact about solo sex is that it increases your libido. It sets the mood and encourages you to get it on more often.

Solo Sex Statistics

Solo Sex For Men

They say that 97 percent of people masturbate. And the remaining 3 percent are lying.

All jokes aside, a recent study showed that on a global level, 78 percent of adults in the world engage in solo sex yet respondents across each country underestimated the number of people who take part in self-pleasure by an average of 11 percent.


You may think that most people don’t do it, but they do. And you have no idea.

But forget about them! We are talking about you.

As a man, you know what you want. Or rather, you think you know what you want. The thing is, the art of solo sex is often overlooked by most males in exchange for brief moments of orgasmic relief that take less than 5 minutes to achieve, and even shorter to enjoy.

Man in Shower

Men, you may think the rules of solo sex don’t apply to you. Maybe you feel you’re just as satisfied with the way you get yourself off now than you ever will be. But right now you can take this moment to learn more about the world of solo sex, beyond the typical aspect of effortless masturbation, and you will see that there is so much more to pleasuring yourself than you know.

First of all, you need to learn to take things slow. As appealing as a quickie in the shower is, it is much more rewarding to take your time and really get to know yourself during these moments of “me time”. Feel yourself, set the mood, and get to really know yourself by adding simple changes to your routine: play some music, tease yourself, relax, and turn off the porn. Be with yourself without the erotic videos for a moment. You’ll see that it is one of the biggest game-changers in your solo sex journey.

You can even switch it up a bit by changing your position. You may usually do the deed while standing up, so this time how about trying to sit down, lean back on something, or lie down completely on your back.

Here’s another tip: don’t just keep focusing on your penis. The male body is full of erogenous zones that can do the job much more effectively than just simply stroking your member. The testicles are full of nerve endings that you can stimulate by fondling them as you’re stroking. Massaging your perineum (the soft area between your balls and anus) can also give you quite a jolt. Take it to the next level by playing with your ears, nipples, neck, and lips. Anything goes!

Next up may or may not be your cup of tea but trust us when we say, “anal play equals big A!” We are referring to the P-spot of course, better known as the prostate. This soft mound flesh lined with a hundred nerve endings is also known as “the male G-spot” and it is located in the holiest of holies: inside your ass. Start off by tracing the outside of your anus with a finger, prodding it slightly inside and out, then when you’ve gotten used to the sensation, slowly insert a lubed up finger about an inch inside to massage your prostate. This will do absolute wonders for you!

Average Time Spent Masturbating

Want to take Solo Sex to the next level?

Exploring Sex Toys

Visit for top notch selection of solo sex toys for men and women on the market.

Take the load off, literally, and choose from a wide variety of sex toys for men such as anal beads, prostate vibrators, male strokers, and penis rings that will give you the solo sex experience that you never thought you needed. Until now, that is. This is just the push you need to take the leap of faith on your journey of self-discovery and pleasure with the world of solo sex.

Sex Toys for woman range from dildos, vibrators, anal toys, pleasure air technology and so much more!

Top Sex Toys for Men's Solo Sex

Aneros Vice 2 - If you are familiar with Aneros, then you know the Aneros Vice is a best selling vibrating prostate massager. VICE 2 has some upgrades including a remote control! The design allows for hands free stimulation which is great for wearing during sex or a night on the town. Press through the 18 vibrations patterns to find your favorite then select one of the four speeds. VICE 2 also has a Joy Button on the remote for an intense vibration to take you to climax.

Aneros Vice 2

Man Wand - Man Wand is a neat concept in that it is a male vibrator and male stroker in one.  The functions can be used simultaneously or separately depending on your mood.  The Wand is made from body safe textured silicone that feels good on the shaft and enhances pleasure.  The two flaps on the side are flexible to adjust to any size penis. 

Man Wand

Njoy Pure Wand and Pure Plugs - Njoy Pure Wand is a beautifully crafted stainless steel dildo designed for g spot stimulation (or p spot). The luxurious feel, look and pleasure the Pure Wand provides is unparalleled. Njoy Pure Plugs can be worn during sex, solo play or just worn around out in public for pleasure throughout the day. Njoy products are also a best seller for woman too!

njoy Pure Wandnjoy Pure Plugs

We-Vibe VectorWe-Vibe Vector is a wearable remote-controlled prostate massager. The smooth silicone slips right into your bottom and is adjustable to your unique body shape. The design of Vector stimulates both the prostate and perineum by putting a gentle pressure on them just by being inside you; then you can add vibrations to further your prostate and perineum experience.

We-Vibe Vector

Top Sex Toys for Women's Solo Sex

Womanizer Premium -Womanizer Premium is a waterproof, clit vibrator with unique Pleasure Air and Smart Science Technologies. It doesn’t matter which style of the Womanizer you choose but it is a MUST have in your toy collection. In fact, if you only decide to try one sex toy in your life it needs to start with the name Womanizer.

Womanizer Premium

Magic Wand RechargeableThe Magic Wand™ Rechargeable is now liberated from its cord to offer soothing stimulating massage nearly anywhere, anytime in rechargeable form. The Magic Wand™ has been trusted for over 30 years to provide powerful, penetrating vibrations.

Magic Wand Rechargeable

We-Vibe Touch - Don't let its gentle, gorgeously sculpted, soft-to-the-touch exterior fool you, the We-Vibe Touch packs a powerful and satisfying rumble. This sensual massager features a rounded tip for ultra-thrilling spot-on contact, and a super sensual pleasure wave shape that caresses all the right places in all the right ways.

We-Vibe Touch

We-Vibe Nova (Soon to be We-Vibe Nova 2)- Nova by We-Vibe was named sex toy of the month by Cosmopolitan's February 2016 issue! This unique rabbit style vibrator is a must have for your toy collection, especially if you already love We-Vibe! Combining the pleasure of uninterrupted clitoral vibrations and G-spot stimulation, the Nova is sure to be the ultimate lady pleaser!

We-Vibe Nova

Things you need to know before you buy your first sex toy

1. Make sure it has the “body-safe” label

Body-safe materials include non-porous silicone, glass, and wood (if its coating is Lubrosity). Check online, and you are sure to find tons of body-safe toys on the market. Sadly, there are plenty of fake body-safe sex toys out there as well. Toy manufacturers have found out that there is a growing demand for body-safe materials in toys, and they capitalized on this need by labeling their toys as "body-safe" products when they are not. Do your part and do additional research to ensure your sex toy is genuinely body-safe.

2. Explore your options and take your time

When you go out to buy shoes, do you buy the first pair you like? No! You go out and explore your options until you find the best one. Enjoy the process of finding your perfect sex toy. This is your time to get to know yourself better. There’s so much to choose from. Think about what excites you and what does your body likes. Don’t just stick to what you know, explore what is intriguing, look into new feelings, and open up to your urges. Take time to look through all the options and you’ll find the perfect fit for you.

3. The shape of your toy doesn’t have to be a phallic

The sex toy industry has widened its range of designs, which means you don’t have to stick to the usual phallic-shaped sex toy. Yes, you might be thinking, “nothing beats the real thing.”  But you want to explore new sensations and tantalize your mind with a new experience. You can go for the old, classic phallic-shaped sex toy but be open to trying new designs. You will be surprised by how much fun you are going to get with these new toys.

4. Don’t forget to use a great lube

You can be an expert or a novice; you need a great lube to enjoy your sex toys fully. Using a lubricant will help decrease friction, making your sex toys more slippery, and increase your sexual pleasure. Use it for all of your sexual needs: penetrative sex, masturbation, and sex toy play. Here is a tip to choosing a lube: avoid any lubricant that contains any artificial flavors, colors, sugars, essential oils, additional additives, or glycerine—you never know how you’ll react to these additives.

Sliquid H2o

How To Enjoy Solo Sex

There are no hard and steadfast rules on how to enjoy solo sex, you do it however you want to. But, there are a few things we can suggest to spice things up:

Set the mood

Light up some candles, scatter roses on your bed, diffuse your favorite scents, and switch the lights off. Also, try playing an erotic playlist. Don’t trouble yourself too much looking for the perfect one. Spotify has some great playlists that will save you time. And make sure there aren’t any ads that will pop up and ruin the mood. Don’t play your music too loud, it should be just enough for you to hear it. Romanticize the moment and allow yourself to fall into the pleasurable sensations.

Wear Something Sexy

Put on the sexiest lingerie you have. There is no particular outfit you have to dress in, we all have our different preferences. Just pick the one the makes you feel the sexiest.

Lingerie isn’t just made for a partner to enjoy it. In fact, lingerie was made to make us feel our best. You don’t have to save your favorite set for a date because you can and should wear it for yourself first. What you’re wearing should make you want yourself. If you look good, you’ll feel great.

But, if you feel best in your birthday suit then by all means go ahead.

Wear Something Sexy

Use Sex Toys

If you are used to a “me, myself, and I” solo sex session you really need to try out using toys. Pleasuring yourself made effortless, that’s what’s in it for you. It’ll do all the hard work for you. And don’t limit yourself to just one, try more as many as you can. Go crazy. Go wild. Make your time worthwhile.

Positions you can try

Staying in the same position can be is boring. Make it more exciting. You took the time to light up the candles, wear a sexy outfit, and experiment with toys, the least you can do is to find a different position to enjoy yourself in. Be more creative and explore how you can enjoy your alone time even more. When in doubt, look online. The internet is a goldmine of knowledge and resources. 

Why self-discovery is Important

Embrace sexuality

If you asked the women you know, most of them would tell you they are not interested in sex or feel uncomfortable exploring themselves to understand more about what their bodies want during sex. Unlike men, women take longer to feel aroused. Some women do not even know what an orgasm is or how it is supposed to feel. Self-sex works around these issues because it helps to become mindful about the body and a  chance to embrace sexuality without shame and guilt. More than just “bumping uglies,” sex represents who we are and the values we hold around pleasure and connection.

Taking care of yourself

Self-sex is self-love. When you mention "self-love," you think morning and nighttime routines of skincare, bubble baths, exercise, and eating healthy food. Self-love is taking care of yourself- adoring, nurturing, and appreciating your body, and working to make it even better. It focuses not only on the physical, but also on one's thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. You are in tune with what your body needs and you take care of it yourself.

Communicate better in bed

Begin feeling more confident with yourself when you're with your partner in bed. You are more likely to communicate your needs better because you are self-aware of what arouses your body and how to do it. No shame, no shyness, no second thoughts, you address those needs to your partner, and in turn, it will help your partner meet those needs for a mind-blowing sexual experience. Of course, like any other skill out there, communication takes constant practice. Remember, your partner can't read your mind. Start being in tune with your body to know what pleases you during sex and communicate your needs to your partner. The more you communicate with your partner, the easier it becomes, and the more fun sex gets for the two of you.

Building self-confidence

Nothing is sexier than a woman who feels great in her skin. Self-sex leads to building confidence and learning how to be vulnerable with yourself. You will learn to love your body, you will stress less, and you can come up to a partner feeling sexy as you tell them how to best please you. You will stop comparing your body to other people, and you will stop looking for someone else to make you feel unique or sexy. You don't have to worry about what clothes, underwear or makeup you are wearing. You know your bare face and naked body is beauty itself.

We hope you enjoyed our Solo Sex Blog! 

Now we'd like to hear from you!

What is your favorite way to have Solo Sex?

Do you like using Sex Toys?



  • Any info you can share or a product you offer in prostate massagers?

    Posted by samuel cornish | August 23, 2020
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